The War of Love

In the young dramatic woman's life, a breakup is comparable to war. When a breakup comes as a surprise, it feels like your troops have been caught in an ambush. With nowhere to turn or go, with no willingness to wave your white flag and pretend you're okay with it, but still holding firmly onto your pride and choosing not to beg for the relationship, my troops have now been forced into a breakup.

The initial instinct is to implement an abrasive counterattack. But I have called off the angry sergeants of my heart.

The first day felt like I was a wounded near to death soldier pleading my friends for a coup de grace and to just please end it all. But as I have passed the one week mark and come to closer terms with our unique situation, I have spent a lot of time thinking and writing. Spending time in my recovery hospitals of thrift stores, nail salons, and best friend's apartments.

I have found myself in the midst of press conferences with friends and acquaintances trying to remain politically correct as I explain the vague phrases I was given. "We must protect our citizens" sounds like "I need to protect my heart, and not tell you every detail." And discussions of stabilizing the economy are questions of "can I afford to be buying this many flowers for myself right now?"

Plagued with the PTSD of our relationship, I have to quickly catch myself and ensure not to get my hopes up. Sometimes it feels like triggers are all around me. The sound of a skateboard. The thumping of two feet walking up my steps. Waking up in the fog of an early morning and thinking for just a second that he's in bed next to you.
Habitual places and playlists have become No Man's Land.

I have begun the process of packing, and categorizing the skeletons of memories left. Deciding what should be thrown away, and what skeletons simply belong in my closet. The worst part of hurt is how quick we are to turn back and kill all remaining objects reminding us of any emotion at all. But is it merely like throwing out a loaded gun? Simply ensuring that we don't continue killing ourselves with the bullets of nostalgia? I try to keep these cleaning binges as objective as possible and leave my heat of emotion out of it.

Yet in some ways the relationship felt like a war in itself. Constantly searching for a mole, having an underlying inkling of mistrust. Like morning role call, double checking that he was happy, feeling comfortable, whatever. Perhaps that's what braced me for the blow. I have been impressed with my mind and heart by how quickly I have adapted. There are days I have gone without even giving it a thought. I have been blown away by how quickly our minds and hearts can recover from such unforeseen pain. I can't help but wonder.. "will heartbreak ever be a shock or will we always be anticipating hurt as a form of self-preservation?"

As tempting as it is to become a cynical old veteran and swear off love as something for the younger rookie soldiers, that's not me and that's never been me. My heart is strong- wounded, but healing. Scarring, but growing.

Robert E. Lee said, "What a cruel thing war is... to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors."

I am choosing to be honest with myself in the moments of intense emotion. Bearing it and not being ashamed of sadness or confusion. And in return, truly embracing the joy and fun that comes with not shutting down Project: Don't Become A Heartless Bitch.

I don't actually know much about war. But I do know that I can't help but get teary eyed when I watch those Coming Home videos on youtube. And I know right now, I'm merely on a long flight home from a really shitty battle. But I'm alive. And I have family waiting for me. And friends holding signs cheering me on. And maybe one day, I'll have someone else. And that's just gonna be the most beautiful peace treaty and alliance ever.

Back 2 Cool

As all big and bright fireworks shine as quickly as they do dim, so did my motivation to keep my blog updated. As I look back on the couple of weeks of my summer that are so well documented, I am regretting my lack of perseverance. I now look back on this page as a mere collection of 15 something drafts: collecting dust with their witty titles and empty bodies.

So to simply just face the shame and get back in the game, I am going to create an ultimate collage of the tid bits of drafts from the end of my summer and get back on the horse! (Thanks Hannah for bugging me to do this)

So let's begin:

7/31/16
Being one of our last weekends in the city, Peter and I packed our weekend full of plans. Him and I had created a list of all the things we wanted to see at the beginning of the summer and now was the time to really start checking them off our list. We began with the Monterey Bay Aquarium; I enjoyed our time weaving through the tanks admiring the fish and sea life. There coincidentally was a benefit of some sort going on and we were serenaded by a small french band while we snacked on ocean friendly hors d'oeuvres. We had baby champagne grapes that were to die for, and we finished our day cruising down the 17 mile drive in Carmel; it's like a 7 dollar fee but we got in for free because we didn't have cash :-) it was a gray day on the coast, and Peter especially likes those days. We had a 2 hour drive home which always goes by fast when you're in love. And we closed the night with baking cookies and dancing in the kitchen waiting for them to cool off. Pictured above is what I think of when I see us dancing in my mind.

The next day we had waffles for breakfast, and in my drafts I wrote a specific moment where we were sitting at the counter eating and smiling at each other in a reflecting mirror down the hall. The rest of that weekend was spent speed viewing the MOMA, and spending lots of quality time together before dropping him off at the airport and kissing goodbye for the week.

8/2/16
In San Francisco, they have Free Museum Tuesdays. It's awesome. This Tuesday I went to the Legion of Honor Museum. It is also awesome. It's situated on a huge hill and the entire building is this gorgeous marble French styled building. I would get married here. *Rephrase: If I'm rich one day, I should get married here.  The art is mostly historical, but nevertheless eye catching and intriguing. As I wandered through the museum store, I was hooked by a book called "Big Alma." It is about one of the founders of the museum and the donor of a large percentage of the art; she had a huge collection of Rodin's pieces (ugh what a dream.) Turns out she's insanely interesting and a total badass who was an outcast in her time, and retrospectively I was much more excited about the book 2 months ago, but nevertheless I still plan on finishing it eventually. 

I also feel that it's important to note that I loved how many museums I went to alone this summer. I was just thinking today that I'd like to get back into that habit here in LA.

8/4/16
Draft from this day:
Physical Attraction: how morally wrong is it to break up with someone because you're not physically attracted to them?
Is it more wrong to stay with them and fake it? Are you just a shitty person?

One of my childhood friends who always has a boyfriend dated an ugly guy for about 6 months, claimed it was love, then suddenly ended it on account of "I wasn't physically attracted to him." Not sure how valid that is, nor why it took her 6 months to figure that out.

8/5/16
Inside Outside.
On this lovely Friday, ticketless me decided to hack Outside Lands, a 3 day music festival in Golden Gate Park, and sneak in. After doing a little bit of research, I heard that you could get a great view of the stages from a nearby hill area called the Marx Meadows.

So I packed up my blanket, laptop, and portable wifi, and in between passing security and festival goers, hopped the first layer of fencing. The rest of the early afternoon was spent sitting on a small hill overhearing the St.Lucia, Jidenna, and Marian Hill shows. Around 4 pm, the fact that I had forgotten to pack a lunch had been finally deemed enough of a reason to leave and miss the 8:40 J.Cole show but I felt lucky enough to have gotten this far. I decided to save my spliff for tonight when Mr. P was set to come home.

I hopped back over the fence, and began my 10 block walk back to my car (ugh SF parking, you suck.) and there, in a glowing spotlight, I came across a Friday wristband that was placed on a cone on the corner of the main entrance.   WHHAAAAAAATTTTT 

Reflecting back on this day, it was the best thing ever. I decided "what the heck, let's just see if it's real," it was, and I went and watched Duran Duran, Miike Snow, Thomas Jack, and Grimes. I got inside Outside for free! I ate the best celebration burrito ever, smoked half of that spliff, and fell asleep that night with Peter in bed next to me.

I felt like the luckiest girl in San Francisco.

8/6/16
The next day Peter and I tripped on acid, and had a relaxing day at home. We painted and made bruschetta and baked brie. We also watched a 90 Minutes episode on Hilarry Clinton, and we made dramatic statements against politics. Here's a picture from that day. One of my favorite pictures.

8/7/16
A month ago, Peter bought me Sunday Outside Land tickets for my birthday and today I got to go back! I showed him the ropes ;-) and we spent the day among huge crowds seeing Chance, Kehlani, Major Laser, and Lana *heart eyes emoji**** I was thankful for my laid back and very selfless boy who danced alongside some of my favorite artists with me. I think we walked about 10 miles that day, and we were so pooped.

Note looking back: I miss this city.

8/10/16
Best way to spend a clear Wednesday afternoon: Twin Peaks. Clear days are rare, so embrace them to their fullest extent with this amazing view. You can see both bridges at once which is my favorite part.

8/11/16
With the anticipation of soon moving out and leaving the city, I had recently been filled with the huge frustration of how much clothing I own and never wear. So I objectively went through my entire closet and filled 4 trash bags full of clothes. Clothes I never wear. Crazy, I know.

I spent the next two days skating these bags up and down the hills of San Francisco, and made 400 dollars!! Thank you Crossroads Trading Co! My advice to people selling their clothes at resale stores like Buffalo Exchange or Crossroads is to not give up! Go to multiple different locations, come back the next day when there's different employees, and usually anything with a decent brand name will sell.


8/14/16
Our Last Weekend.

For our last weekend in the city, Peter and I's good friend from school, Aric, came up! I look back and see many nostalgic picturesque moments from this weekend. We reviewed a lot of our favorites in the city. It was good to have Aric up. He's one of Peter's closest friends from school. Aric continues to always keep a positive and upbeat attitude regardless of his situation.

He's not at our school this year, and I've really missed him this semester.


8/15/16 until now

The San Francisco and overall summer came to a close, and I reflect back on this summer with content. I learned a lot, experienced a lot, and had a heck of a summer.

Now, being back at APU and in LA, a lot has changed, especially recently. I am so grateful to be back with all of my friends. Classes have been applicable and exciting. Apartment living is doing me well. And it's good be back at school.
However, the title "Back 2 Cool" was more exciting when I came up with it.

Expressing Optimism Against Unfathomable Odds

 

Spent my day in some ripped jeans and a white button down collared blouse, frolicking throughout Union Square. I was on the hunt for some trendy but simple reading glasses.

I came across a cool store called JINS. They offer buying reading glasses in a simple manner. The employees are also a lot less pushy than your regular retail store. They don't offer fancy designer brands, but it is much easier on the wallet. They also have nice pictures to help you pick what frame shape you should lean towards based on your head shape. I tried a few but decided I'd return with a second opinion on hand.

Right in between the tall skyscrapers and nearby Union Square is the uncrowded and beautiful Yerba Buena Gardens. It's the perfect city park vibe. I sat and smoked an afternoon cigarette and watched a cool mom with pink hair play with her adorable daughter, and thought about how this is the type of content I'm looking to see in this city !

Favorite thing about my stop by the park: on a nearby advertisement for the Yerba Buena Center for Arts, there was a sign that said "Expressing Optimism Against Unfathomable Odds." What a great campaign.

JINS
151 Powell Street
San Francisco, CA
94102

Building the Bridge of Trust

If you're in a relationship and you feel like you're with the right person, turns out it's supposed to be an equal amount of giving and compromise from both of you. And turns out it's not supposed to be just on the little things like sharing your dessert or letting him sleep on the side of the bed that you like.

What I learned this week is that sometimes it means compromising outside of your comfort zone. Peter (I'm not calling him Mr.Parker anymore because I'm tired of it) exemplifies this very well, and in a hard conversation this week said, "I'm excited to change for this relationship." That shifted my perspective a lot. In a relationship, we should be able to trust that the person we are with has good intentions in their corrections of us. Yes, we should sometimes challenge their comments, but we should also be more open to change if we find that they are worth that change. And I very much think this relationship is worth that at the least. I'm looking to build something great, and I know that starts with a strong foundation of communication, and trust, and compromise, and sushi dates.

This theme had me thinking a lot about why I was so quick to assume that Peter had untrustworthy intentions. Why did I think that someone I know so well, once he became my boyfriend, would become someone who would hurt me or change on me? What has caused me to see love and pain as synonymous?

That night I laid in bed and to end the day, turned on one of my favorite Romantic Comedies that I hadn't watched in a while, "Love & Other Drugs." The basis of the movie is not quite as nauseating as most overly unrealistic Romance films, as the main characters are both flawed and real and raw. Which I like. It is humorous to see how both of them evolve over the course of the film as heartless emotionless fuck buddies to dramatic professors of love (in the rain, of course.) But it still contains the underlying theme that is seen in most Rom Coms: where the good girl who's just quirky and happens to be single meets a bad boy, or a complicated boy, or just a kind of shitty boy, and they fall in love.

Sad to say, I am always a sucker for those love stories where the great girl turns a shitty guy into a great guy. They have some frustrated conversations but in the end, that's all it takes to turn him into this great guy. And it all magically works out (???)

But what happens when we meet a great guy, and we're just constantly scared that he's not who he says he is? Why has society taught us that there's only shitty guys out there and the only way to be happy is to turn him into a great guy? What do we do when we actually meet a good guy before he's been fucked up by a girl or other factors? (lol)

And why have we only been taught that there are just great single women out there... girls are shitty too, Sex and the City!

Has society taught us that pain and complication is in fact synonymous with love and relationships?
Maybe sometimes the bridge of trust and vulnerability that leads to the strong beautiful relationship seems scarier than it actually is because society has caused us to only believe that the giant chasm under it is unavoidable. When in actuality, that may not be the case. Maybe you just need the right person to hold your hand, and the courage to put one foot in front of the other to cross.

I haven't quite figured this all out, but in the sense of application, I have decided to take a small leap of faith and trust that I know who Peter is, and to trust that he is who he says he is. Bridge of Trust, here I come.

Orlandope (kinda)

I am finally getting around to writing a long overdue post on my trip to Orlando, Florida with my little sister.

My six day long trip began with an overnight layover in LA. <3 Home sweet home. I was immediately struck by the warm weather, and had forgotten what it feels like to go out at 11 pm in short shorts. Oh Southern California, you sweetheart. My night was spent with two of my closest friends: we talked over McFlurries and cigarettes, and I kissed them goodbye as I headed home mentally preparing for my very early flight the next morning.

The travel day to Orlando was hardly that bad; I had a window seat and slept most of the time. I am strongly blessed with the ability to fall asleep pretty much anywhere. When we touched down in Orlando, we were immediately struck by a wave of sister excitement as we gazed into the future adultless weekend! We were also equally struck by the overwhelming humidity that us sweet Californians have never experienced. We took a taxi back to our hotel, ordered deep dish pizza, and called it an early night.

The next three days were filled with early mornings watching my sister compete in the National Diving Competition. And afternoons napping to compensate for our early mornings. Intermittent pool and tanning sessions, and Netflix date nights were also thrown in. I have missed spending time with my family and siblings living away from home this summer and appreciated my role as an oldest sister who can take her youngings on fun trips and be the cool chaperone.

My sister and I clashed here and there, and when you move out, you don't realize how much your little siblings are growing up and changing too. I am proud to see who my sister is becoming, and proud to be the one who will be by her side as she grows up. Family is such an intriguing dynamic because of the instilled unfailing love you have for one another. And I left the weekend exhausted from so much family love lol.

All in all, Orlando was kind of dope. It offers a lot to people who are looking to see the attractions (DisneyWorld, SeaWorld, Universal Studios), but to the poor college student and her younger sister, there aren't many free walkabouts in sight. Although we did enjoy a shopping and strutting final night in the downtown area at DisneyWorld. I also enjoyed being able to legally buy cigarettes and was happy to find that Florida sells Cheyennes.

To any future Orlando readers, I hope this post doesn't offend. I am sure you are all (super) dope.

My last day before returning home to San Francisco, I had an 18 hour layover scheduled in Los Angeles and epically attempted to make the most of every minute. I spent my afternoon eating a Banzai Bowl, and lounging on the beach. Sand in between each of my toes, and salt in my hair; I truly believed that I hadn't seen such a beautiful Newport Beach day as that Monday was. At 5 o'clock pm, the water was a crisp mid 70s. The waves rolled back and the soft sand floor remained shallow for hundreds of feet. I laid on my back and let the waves carry me closer to shore, basking in the clear water. The moment was so picturesque, I even caught myself watching the waves roll over me as I opened my eyes under water. My girlfriend introduced me to a fantastic nearby Mexican restaurant, and we excitedly headed over to the OC Fair, only to find out that it's not open on Mondays. ;-(
We gained back our excited momentum by finding a nearby movie theater that offered a photo booth, and went to a party hosted by a friend of hers. Half tipsy and half high, I lyfted back home, with a smile on my face completely disregarding the fact that I was going to have to wake up in 3 hours.

Banzai Bowls
114 22nd Street
Newport Beach, CA
92663

Hole Mole Mexican
17491 Beach Blvd
Huntington Beach, CA
92647

If You Don't Wanna Hear A Filthy Song

If you don't wanna hear a filthy song, get the fuck out please. 

My lovely friend Hannah showed me a song this weekend, and I haven't been able to stop listening to it. Walking down the street, driving in my car, working in a coffee shop, I've got it on replay. 

Here it is:  My Neck, My Back Cover by Elle King 

True

At the end of the school year, before summer began, a couple of my girlfriends and I had a lunch put together for all of us. With an assortment of chocolate covered strawberries, ham & swiss sandwiches, and Orange Juice, we looked back on our first year of college and reminisced on our friendships. One of my favorite moments of this lunch was a time we took to reflect on our favorite things about each other.

As I tried very hard to come up with unique and thoughtful remarks on each of my friends, two of them noted that I was good at deciding what was best for myself and doing it; that I was good at following my heart.

Coming out of a couple months long period where I struggled with deciding what I wanted and often times allowed what I felt others wanted to arbitrate my decisions, I accepted the compliment, but thought to myself that I didn't know if I believed or saw in myself what they saw.

This past weekend, that same friend noted to me a few times over that she loves how I am someone who is following their heart always. As we were getting pierced yesterday, my friends were brainstorming how they would describe each of us in one word. Amongst the mellow, the unique, and the welcoming, the word they chose for me was: true. True as in true to myself, and true to those around me. I took this as a huge compliment. Only this time, it sank in. I believe them and believe that this is true about myself.

There was no greater feeling than realizing in these past few months how much more confident in myself I have grown. To be true to myself and those around me is something I aspire to be, and the feeling of quiet joy and pride in myself blossomed.

I have learned to pursue what makes me happiest; what is the most meaningful to me. And I am so proud of that. I do however realize that I do not have it down perfectly. I have thought a lot about what it means to be true to yourself and a few questions have been raised...

To what lengths can we be true to ourselves and true to others? What is the healthy balance between honoring yourself and putting others ahead of what you want? How can I know when I'm compromising myself vs. just serving others?

How do we remain true to ourselves? What are steps to continue staying true to your heart?

Is this all just a cheesy way of saying "I do what I want"? haha...

As I've thought of ways that I can continue and further my characteristic of being true to myself, I have concluded that I would like to:
-embrace this blog more
-wear a bra less
-get a tattoo one day
-be more honest

To those who have seen things in me before I see them in myself, I truly thank you.

S(F)unday of Favorites

As the denouement of our Girls Weekend rolled around, we eased into our Sunday by making breakfast and lounging around the house for a bit. We sat in the kitchen offering advice on certain things each of us has been going through, and laughed about the stories and memories my aunt was offering in reply to our situations. And with full bellies and full hearts, we left for a day of visiting a few of my favorite places...

Our first mission was to find good coffee and good snacks. First, we stopped by Mr.Holmes Bakehouse for some good pastries, and of course, to visit the neon "I Got Baked in San Francisco" sign. Classic. My friend's favorite pastry was the jalapeño strawberry muffin oooooh. We then went to the Mill for some good coffee, and I got my favorite cinnamon sugar toast. We wandered around the streets and found ourselves at a little Farmer's Market. I picked up some strawberries for our planned picnic later on in the day. Around a good farmer's market, I really just can't help myself.

The next stop was the best and never packed view of the Golden Gate Bridge, Baker Beach! I enjoyed hearing my friends' reactions as we rolled around the famous parking lot corner and then boom! There it is! It's always fun seeing the city with fresh eyes and hearing the excited giggles from the big tourists your friends become. I enjoy thinking of San Francisco as home in these moments. We walked up to the rocks, and sat in a line along the edge of the water, taking in our view. Funny moment: my friend Hannah totally caught a random Asian guy taking pictures of her. She called him out on it and then had him airdrop them to her because they were cute pictures. LOL

Our third destination was a picnic at Dolores Park! This is a great spot for a relaxing view from the Mission. We sat ourselves at the top of the hill, and laid out a blanket kindly provided by Mr.Parker. For lunch we got sandwiches and chips from the nearby Bi-Rite Market (always the best!) We lounged, eating and people watching, telling the stories of our first kisses. And as a chilly wind started to settle in, we decided to head out.

Our last stop of the day was a pop in at Mission Ink Tattoo & Piercings! Eek! We each decided to get piercings to commemorate girl friendships and our fun weekend. Better than an unsure tattoo I thought to myself. On the scale of bold and ballsy to total baby, I got a kind of brave piercing: a third lobe ear piercing (oh ya!) It was fun to get something new, and the adrenaline rushes we were all experiencing together solidified the expensive decision. There's no better way to end a great day than by poking a hole in your body! Haha maybe not, but for the sake of today and being young, that's also what I tell myself.

Mr. Holmes Bakehouse
1042 Larkin Street
San Francisco CA, 94109

Bi-Rite Market
3639 18th Street
San Francisco CA, 94110

Mission Ink Tattoo & Piercing
2440 Mission Street
San Francisco CA, 94110

Science is Cool, Parties are Fun

Trying to take the pressure of making sure my friends saw everything amazing the city has to offer or seeing something that everyone would like off, I decided to take everyone to the Exploratorium at Pier 15. Before heading in, we made a quick stop at the Ferry Building for some coffee from Blue Bottle and grilled cheese sandwiches from Cowgirl Sidekick. 

The Exploratorium is a great for all ages, hands on, science museum right on the edge of the city. The prices are quite steep but they do offer student and children's discounts. If you ask me, the museum is well worth the 25 dollar admissions fee, and I could have stayed there all day long. They also do an adult night on Thursday nights!

As we entered, all of us slowly separated into smaller groups and singles as we were pulled by our curiosity in different directions.
This was my first time going and in my opinion, the best thing about the Exploratorium was that it was all such an experience. With every display, you were looking through, or speaking to, touching, or moving one thing to learn another. Some of my favorites were the monochromatic room, the large dimensional mirrors, the long exposure photos, the rainbow room, the psychology exhibits... the list goes on! Pictured above was an exhibit that stated "not all shadows are dark." So cool.

We spent a good few hours there, and all met back at the front entrance once we were ready to move on. Exploratorium, I'll be back!

The rest of our day consisted of wandering around Fisherman's Wharf eating baguettes from Boudin Bread, and then heading over to Mr.Parker's house for a small combo birthday celebration! With a mix of my girlfriends and some friends from school who live in the area, I must say, it was a fun little party. At one point all of us were so high/hungry, that once the pizza came, we each were eating one slice out of one hand and holding our second slice in the other. lol it looks as ridiculous as it sounds.

Looking back, I realized that I haven't been to a science museum or had a birthday party with a cake and banners in a good handful of years. I enjoyed embracing my inner child as I enter another year of being old. I am thankful I have friends who know how to have childlike fun.

Dimes and Perfect Tens

A handful of some of my closest girlfriends decided to come up to the city for the weekend to celebrate my birthday! As each of them trickled into my room over the course of the day, I couldn’t help but bask in the presence of so much love in front of me. We spent the afternoon all squished in my bedroom catching up; three girls on the bed, others on the floor, weaving conversation in and out between each girl. Woohoo the Girls are back together!

As the sun began to set, we plugged in our curling irons and the going out process commenced. We had reservations for six at a good sushi place in the city, and plans to go out dancing to a nearby 18+ club that I had a connection to.

At Tsubasa Sushi, we each got one roll and devoured all six of them feast style. I ordered cheap sake and unfortunately had to shot glass throw it back because it honestly tasted so bad.

After dinner, me and my dimes strutted the streets, and got some pre-game drinks and cigarettes.

Feeling a little tipsy and overly confident, I led my friends to the club, and to my dismay two very long lines flooded out the big front doors. I walked past them in my snake skin printed boots and fluffy Patagonia coat, and with the drop of a name and a little smile, all my dimes got in for free, cut the line, and we got VIP cards ;-) Talk about a hustle haha.

The VIP passes are actually lifetime passes so my girlfriends and I vowed to come back in 10 years. Official Meetup Date: July 15^th, 2026. I can’t wait!

There aren’t very many things I love more than a good night of dancing, and we danced the night awayyyy. Not only are my friends hot, but they know how to have fun too! The club offered multiple platforms to dance on and we explored all of them. Mr.Parker even made a short appearance and we danced, exchanging teasing looks. My friend, Hannah, and I also got a free drink at the bar and met some very drunk European guys. That was when we decided to head out.

We finished the night and early morning of the next day with a smoke seshion at Mr.P’s and a burrito run. All throughout the night, I managed to achieve a perfect level of tipsy and high and was at a perfect 10 as the night closed.

Looking back, I will say that I laughed and smiled and hugged more tonight than I have in a long time.

Me - 2016

To my dimes, thank you for a perfect ten of a night. xoxo

Tsubasa Sushi

429 Gough Street

San Fancisco, CA

94102

Club X

715 Harrison Street

San Francisco, CA

94107

Vive La Me

On July 14th, 1789, the culmination of French lower class frustration prompted the declaration of independence from the monarchy and the storming of the Bastille. The Bastille was a fortress and prison, thus giving today the title of Bastille Day. 1789 was the era of Marie Antoinette and King Louis XVI, who were very much hated by their people. I used to think they were guillotined on this actual day, but turns out they fled to Versaille and weren't beheaded for another few years. So Vive la France and Vive Marie! I also used to think of Marie Antoinette as a spoiled rotten woman, and didn't fancy her very much (because who tells poor people to eat cake if they're hungry).  But if you look into her history, you'll find the story of a young girl taken from her homeland (Austria), shipped off to France to marry some old creepy guy, have a very public sex life (Hall of Mirrors), and be likable? All at the age of 13-14? I'd be pretty sassy too...
Today, the French celebrate Le quatorze de Juillet by starting the morning with a large military parade down Champs Elysee, and end it with a firework show and concert at the Eiffel tower. In between, there are celebrations all along the country, and red, white, and blue are painted across the streets (metaphorically).

Claude Monet - 1878

On July 14, 1997, I was born. There are also no beheadings (that I am aware of) that occurred. But my beautiful mother popped me out, and here we are! I would argue that today is the best birthday to have ever. It's always fun knowing somewhere out there a whole country is partying it out.

I slipped on a vintage pink Marc Jacobs dress that I've been saving for today and set out for a good day. Mr. Parker had me booked from 6pm on, so I spent the afternoon at the foot of my favorite bridge in the city, the Bae<3 Bridge. As nice as my few hours solo were, I will admit that I was looking forward to celebrating with Mr.P and my friends this upcoming weekend. Some things just feel like they're meant to be spent with people you love. 

Not knowing what he had planned for the night, Mr.Parker walked me into his house through the back way (along Balmy Alley: very cool), and opened the gate to a beautiful outdoor dinner. With a gasp on the tip of my tongue and slightly teary eyes, I observed the decorated ensemble he had set up. There were twinkly lights and candles; a bouquet of beautiful flowers, a little cup with cigarettes in them, wine, and breakfast food on the way. :-) We had omelettes, bacon, and orange juice. I couldn't have planned a better dinner myself. 

We sat next to each other as I prefer and exchanged kind words and kisses, and he gave me a very thoughtful gift on top of this all. Who's the spoiled girl now, Marie?! 

However, throughout the night something was a little off... For example, Mr.Parker wasn't allowing me inside the house! This infuriated my curious side, and I instantly had to pee really bad... With his guidance, I searched through the house for a secret hidden Vespa gift (lol), but instead walked into the living room and was completely surprised by one of my best friends! 

She had driven all day from LA to come spend the weekend with me and coordinated the surprise with him. I was a complete mess the instant I saw her; bursting into tears and bear hugging which quickly led to bear collapsing on the couch. Ahhhh I'm excited now just looking back on it haha. 

My birthday night ended with all three of us squeezing into a little electric car and driving around the city. This one-of-a-kind, butterfly doors, two-seater, was rented by Mr.P through Scoot! It's an awesome little company that lets you rent vespas and cars throughout San Francisco, and then just drop them off when you're done using them. Great way to see the city! 

We snuck into a 21+ Bastille Day party, then got kicked out by the end of the song. Still worth it though! 

The clock struck midnight, and we ended up back at the foot of the Bay Bridge. It's lights were twinkling and I was filled with such excitement for this weekend and this next year. It was a fantastic birthday and Bastille Day, I must say. 

Cheers to 19, Vive La Me! 

One Dollar Secrets

Every Wednesday, the San Francisco Public Library sells books by the boxes for 1$ each! Right outside on the front of the steps, I weaved through handfuls of people looking for a deal worth reading. I settled on a Paris book and walked away with a boxful of pink books on my hip. Yay for room decorations! **All for a whopping 13 dollars.

Every Wednesday, there is also a Farmer's Market in the Civic Center which is just around the corner (literally) from the Library. The view of City Hall is very nice, and a little stroll through never hurt anyone right? I left with a bouquet of purple wisterias and peaches in hand. Not really sorry about it though.

On the eve of my birthday, I pondered over my last year and how I have grown. I have learned to pursue my heart's desires, and act on what is best for me. I've grown more confident in standing up for myself, and also learning when to be generous with grace. My communication and intentionality with others has also become more vulnerable which is something I have not mastered yet, but am glad I'm getting better at.

As I watched the clock inch it's way towards midnight, I picked up one of my pink books and began to read on my bed. The title of the book was PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives. The book is an artistic compilation of postcards mailed in to the author of people's secrets. The author, Frank Warren, was the founder of the 1800-SUICIDE hotline and is a big patron of suicide prevention. The book and organization serve as a way to help people not feel so alone when seeing other peoples' secrets and stories. As can be expected, some are very sad, but some are also very funny.

Here were some that I liked:

If I was an enigmatic person I would end this with: 

Tell me one of your secrets . . . 

P-Day

I picked up Mr.Parker from work in the city trying to catch my breath from running around the past hour. Yelling, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", and greeting him with a kiss, I was very excited for the night I had planned. As we set off, I handed him a bandana and gave instructions to tie it across his eyes. With "Birthday" by Katy Perry playing over my speakers, we laughed and talked about work for the short drive to our next location.

We parked and I guided him two blocks down the street blindfolded. The looks from the streetside bystanders was priceless. Up the elevator, and across the hall we went. I allowed him to take off his blindfold and input the code to the door. The room behind the door had been decorated the hour before with light red balloons, banners, little lights, and gifts. I arranged a lovely dinner set up, and a feast of all his favorite meals were lined up for our eating. I watched Mr.Parker enter the office room with a huge smile. His excitement and surprise was worth all the running around I had done the last few days. We giggled and hugged and danced around, checking out our beautiful city street view outside the window.

One of my favorite touches of the night was a Menu I had typed up; on the left side was the dinner menu and on the right was kind comments and stories that many of our friends had said about him. You know you're a lucky girl when all your friends love him. I really enjoyed being able to hear all the special qualities others have seen in Mr. P.

We spent our three hours of booked time sipping on Moscow Mules, and raving over the Strawberry Walnut salads and Burritos in front of us. A special dessert of Dip n Dots even made an appearance! As we wrapped up our meal, we raised the windows, and decided to smoke cigarettes and sit on the sill. With my legs propped up, and the warm summer breeze coming through the streets, I couldn't help but be so in love with this moment. To my right, is the man who fits me better than I could've ever dreamed of, and he looks so hot smoking a cigarette. To add to the cinematic perfection, the soft tune of a trumpet from the park down the road sweetly became the soundtrack of that moment. I made sure to inhale extra slow as to make it last as long as possible.

The main soundtrack of the night were a few of P's favorite songs. Here are some of my favorites:
-I've Fallen For You by Tom Redwood
-Heartburn (Felix Cartal remix) by Wafia
-Time of the Blue by The Tallest Man on Earth

Happy P-Day, to Mr. P. I am so happy to have spent your birthday night with you. You are someone worth celebrating. I love you, and I am the luckiest. :-)

If you are wondering, I booked an office space through breather.com! They offer a multitude of office spaces and locations throughout most big cities, and you rent them by the hour! It's pretty savvy. You're not allowed to smoke in them though... shhhhhh

No Thank Yous

Someone noted to me the other day that they feel that I am sometimes unappreciative of what others do for me. Or that when it comes to what I ask of others, I ask more than what I am willing to offer. I think the more difficult end of this conversation was the fact that I completely don't think that I am this way. I have found myself slightly haunted by the fact that this could be a very bad character trait of mine and I had no idea. I am also frustrated with the idea that maybe this is incorrect and I just very poorly stood up for myself. I am feeling distraught over the thought that I had this idea of myself, and in a conversation, my hopes as to who I thought I was were depleted.

Then, I couldn't help but wonder what is the standard of gratefulness that we all hold each other to? Is there a universal amount of thank yous we should all say, or certain mundane things that don't need to be thanked for? Or after something has been done enough times, do you not need to say thank you anymore? Is saying thank you even a sufficient showing of gratitude? Or in what form do others expect to be thanked in?

Yet even more I wondered how often do we hold others to the standard we hold ourselves to? How often do we expect that others have the same standards that we do?
Perhaps I don't offer enough gratitude because I don't expect that much. Maybe I don't do enough sacrificial things to even know what I expect.

Sometimes I think that I enjoy doing things for people a little more when they don't remember to thank me because it's just a small reminder that I'm doing it because I care for them rather than for their thank you.
Do we sometimes just want to be reminded that we are appreciated because we are worried that the other person didn't care enough to notice?

I realized that I may be only a single type of person out of many who doesn't really keep tabs of thank yous or deeds done. I think this both harms and helps me, but can potentially be harming those around me more than it is helping me.

I see that I am overly grateful to waiters and busboys at restaurants because I assume that most people probably treat them like shit.
I realized that I don't feel grateful for what someone is doing when I feel that they don't deserve to be thanked. This is probably not a good thing because I should be grateful regardless if the person is a jerk or not.

I know I sound insanely dramatic, but it's just been taking over my train of thought, and I am choosing to be honest in these posts. I think when it comes to the standard of thank yous or no thank yous, the level and format of gratefulness depends on who you are interacting with. Maybe just like how we give love the way we feel love; we also thank in the way we feel thanked. But I have yet to fully figure this out.

I need to get better at taking criticisms from others. I also need to get better at not doubting who I am when I am criticized. Perhaps this is all so disturbing because I'm finally allowing someone to see every aspect of who I am and that makes me nervous.

I am struggling with allowing my posts to not end on a happy note.

When You're Having Fun

In an effort to catch up on my very busy and enjoyable weekend, I am compiling each of my days into one post. What can I say, time flies when you're having fun (and forget to write about it.)

Thursday 7/7: I enthusiastically offered to pick up Mr.Parker and his brother from the airport today, and giddily ended my work day early to head over to SFO. Our reunion date consisted of strolling around the Japanese Tea Gardens, and drinking tea in their picturesque lounge area along one of the ponds. We stopped by Trouble Coffee Co afterward, and on top of our hot drinks and buttery-cinnamon-heavenly toast, indulged in some complimentary peaches and figs from the kind barista.  With nothing but a beautiful city at our finger tips, we decided to explore Land's End, another heavily raved beach area that offers a unique view of the Golden Gate Bridge. We snuck along a dirt trail we found on the edge of a large hill and sat ourselves at the foot of a tree. In between smoking a few spliffs and intermittent i-missed-you makeout seshions, we talked about family and how much we like each other and it was a nice moment. Today is also one of my closest friend's birthdays. In our friendship, I have adored embracing her sense of independence and perfect blend of fearless adventure and content laziness. I appreciate her willingness to always offer a listening ear and helping hand -- always giving me thoughtful and applicable remarks. She is very easy-going but never doubts encouraging to stand up for yourself, and I think she will make a great future roommate. Happy Birthday, Christen! I love you!

Friday 7/8: The next day at work I got majorly teased for doing the metaphorical walk of shame. I must say however, that I do really like my coworkers. Today, we are celebrating the birthdays of two people from the office, and I enjoyed being a part of picking out the cake and leading the festivity singing chorus. Mr.Parker and I had plans to go out and be productive, but we did something much more fun. We got really high. Ordered amazing indian food (& munched out.) Watched Zootopia, and cuddled until the end of time.

Saturday 7/9: At 8:30am with a beautiful boy in bed next to you, there is nothing easier to do than to sleep in. This morning, I happily left my ballet flats in my bag for the sake of a few more hours in between the sheets with Mr. Parker. Closer to brunch time, we walked over to Universal Cafe down the street; I recommend the beignets. They were served with whipped cream and a delicious berry jam. I'm getting lost in a daydream just thinking about em... We then went to get some coffee at Blue Bottle around the corner and explored an adjacent art gallery and indoor appliance store. We debated over what tiles we would prefer to have in a kitchen or on the countertops and pondered over the hip art pieces in front of us; commenting on the things we liked like the trendy San Franciscans that we are. He bought me a handful of dahlias from a small flower shop that was at the entrance, and I happily added them to my bouquet once I was back at home. The majority of my family is here for the weekend, and we had a small excited army waiting for us! Our afternoon was spent playing in the pool, and catching up on the details of life. It felt really good to have my family here. Later in the night, Mr.P and I left for the city to go watch his brother compete in a boxing match. The viewing experience was exhilarating and nerve wracking, but he won in the second round with a technical K.O.! With no further plans for the night, we ironically found ourselves very close to a free Lil Yachty concert. The line outside the building formed all the way around the corner and up the street, and was packed with trendy kids in Supreme, Palace, and Thrasher sweatshirts. It was piercings, cigarettes, and bleached hair all around. I loved it. It soon enough became obvious that not all of us were going to get in and very quickly an insane mob formed, and people were actually forcing themselves in! P and I allowed ourselves to get swept up by the ocean of determined teens and ended up quite close to the stage! Looking back it all back fired because they canceled the concert due to safety hazards, but it was a funny experience at the least. We ended the night with really good ice cream from around the corner, and as a very stoned Mr.Parker was devouring his 2 scoop ice cream cone, both scoops plummeted onto the checkout counter right in front of the cashier. I have never laughed out loud so hard.

Sunday 7/10: Being on the brink of a big fun birthday week (mine and Mr.P's), I nominated that since my family is here, we go out to breakfast this morning! We went to Alana's in Redwood City. It's a lovely place located in a courtyard also neighboring a quaint art gallery. Later in the afternoon, Mr. P and I headed back into the city to get some coffee and wrap our time together up. We visited another artisanal toast coffee shop that we had heard a lot about, The Mill. I would say that I liked my meal from Trouble more, but the location of the Mill is better. With coffee and toast in hand, we roamed a few surrounding stores,  and I dropped off Mr.Parker at home with a kiss. I spent the rest of the day with my little brother, and noticed how developed his language skills have become. I think he understands more than I think he does. His cuteness level is increasing at twice the rate of his language skills.


Universal Cafe
2814 19th Street
San Francisco, CA 94110

Blue Bottle Coffee
2900 18th Street
San Francisco, CA 94110

Humphry Slocombe Ice Cream
2790 Harrison Street
San Francisco, Ca 94110

Alana's Cafe
1020 Main Street
Redwood City, CA 94063

The Mill
736 Divisadero Street
San Francisco CA, 94117

New Frontiers

Today I awoke with a greater than usual bounce in my step. It's easy waking up early when a follow-up interview and the hopes of a cool new job are what pull you out of bed! I sat at my computer, nervously yet confidently answering my few remaining questions. As the interview dwindled down, my interviewer said, "I have good news for you.." My heart was racing !! (pause for emphasis...) I got the job! :-)

I am very excited for this opportunity going into my next year of school. I'll be able to create my own schedule (yess), and work from my apartment! To celebrate, I declared the best course of action was to buy myself some flowers! I decided to go with some white roses and asters to add a complimenting touch of white to the lavender and sunflower bouquet in my bedroom.

With the optimistic mood that had settled in from a good morning, I decided to finally pursue a small goal I have had these past few months: to start taking ballet classes! After doing a bit of online research, I found a nearby Dance Studio that offered very beginner ballet classes for adults. As I walked into their front office, an older gentleman was standing there and smiled at me. He began talking to me and the conversation went like this:
-"Those are lovely flowers!"
-"Thank you!"
-"Who bought them for you?"
-"Oh I bought them for myself."
-"Oh.. Is it your birthday?"
-"Haha oh no I just bought them for fun."
-"Well that's nice, Happy Day to you!"
All this to say: Go out and break some stereotypes. Make buying yourself flowers cool again!!!

After talking with the Front Office secretary, I found out that the studio offers 10 adults ballet classes for 140 dollars. I don't know much about the pricing of dance classes, but I felt like this was a really good deal (lol). So i signed up! My first class is Saturday (eek!). I also purchased some darling new ballet slippers; I feel like a more elegant dancer already!

To end the day, my aunt and I changed into our swimsuits and watched a beautiful sunset from the warm jacuzzi that is ideally positioned very close to the channel. With the colors bouncing right off the water, the jacuzzi offers a very cozy and wonderful view. We chatted about work and old family friends and our relationships. My aunt opened up to me about how her current relationship has been going, and I felt very content to be present in a vulnerable conversation. For someone who very much has her shit together, my aunt is always giving me a very put together and tough front. And I obviously know that that can't be real all the time, but I was glad that she was allowing for the wall to come down and show me a small new frontier.

As I lay in bed, I can't help but be so excited for all the new frontiers ahead of me. Future, I'm coming for ya in ballet slippers and with a handful of flowers ;-) !

Giants Made Simple

Over Ike's Sandwiches at lunch today, my coworkers and I got into a discussion about love and marriage and relationships. Only one person from our office is married. The rest of us are a mix of single, dating, or in relationships, and I always enjoy hearing their takes on some of my favorite topics.

We talked about the essence of planning in a relationship. And if you can actually or to what extent you can plan when in love. Our one married coworker, Kevin, got married at 19 and his wife was 17 years old! We posed many questions about their love story; they've been married for 10 years now, and he said he just knew when he met her that she was the one (awwwww). The other percentage of my coworkers that are in relationships are well into their late 20s; and they voiced their concern as to how one can know if they've truly found the best person for them.

Mr. Married told us about this cool TED talk that compared mathematics and love (there's also a book!) So we all hovered around my laptop and closely watched the Mathematics of Love.

The narrator, Hannah Fry, was a very intelligent mathematician with a dry and quirky sense of humor and an enticing British accent. She compiled the research data from many psychologists, other mathematicians, and online dating sites to give 3 helpful tips on the giant of Love. She says, "mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything...Even something as mysterious as love." They offer an intriguing 37% theory on finding your person at the "right" time; it basically states that after dating 37% of your dating pool, you should go and latch onto the best person you can find.

She even presents a formula that could predict the success of a long term relationship with a 90% accuracy. The ideology that I was most impressed by was from this tidbit:
"Now I always thought that good marriages were about compromise and understanding and allowing the person to have the space to be themselves. So I would have thought that perhaps the most successful relationships were ones where there was a really high negativity threshold, where couples let things go and only brought things up if they were a big deal. But actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the team have shown the exact opposite is true. The best couples, or the most successful couples, are the ones with a really low negativity threshold. These are the couples that don't let anything go unnoticed and allow each other some room to complain. These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship, that have a much more positive outlook on their marriage. Couples that don't let things go and couples that don't let trivial things end up being a really big deal."
Who would've thought complaining to your boyfriend would be the thing that saves your relationship! (lol maybe that's not exactly what she meant..)

All in all, it was very fascinating to see how mathematics can make simplicities out of the irrational and intricate ideas around us. Fry closed with another quote I really liked saying, "I hope this gives you a little bit of insight into the power of mathematics; Because for me, equations and symbols aren't just a thing. They're a voice that speaks out about the incredible richness of nature and the startling simplicity in the patterns that twist and turn and warp and evolve all around us."

Fun lunch break, I know. I thanked Mr.Married for showing us the video, and asked him if he had read the book. Being the office clown, he replied, "No, it was too late for me, but now you can save yourself." Hahaha.

I slipped out of the office a little early in order to avoid traffic while heading into the city. My plans for the night: Giants vs Rockies game! Tickets for one!! I arrived to AT&T Park 15 minutes before the game was about to start and nearly robbed a bank on the way in order to afford parking. I inspected my seat location before placing my belongings down, and wandered for a bit to examine my Stadium food options. Back in Los Angeles, baseball games were always hot melting Frozen Pink Lemonade occasions, but with this stadium being on the Bay, we were approaching a below 50 degrees evening. I had three layers and an orange scarf on (to depict my loyal fanship to the Giants). I went with a Clam Chowder in a bread bowl as my indulgence snack, so SF.

I had forgotten a little about how baseball worked since it had been quite a while since I'd been to a game. But it proved to be a very simple sport, and I picked up on it quickly. It was a slow game, but we were steadily kicking their asses. Someone behind me compared the Colorado Rockies to a Little League team, ouch.

I will admit that I liked the idea of going to a baseball game alone a little more than I did implementing the evening. Going to a game alone isn't like going to the movies alone. At the movies, you're placed in a dark room with a very clear motive: just watch the movie. At the game, I was surrounded by groups of friends and couples and couldn't help my wandering eye. I kept worrying that the people around me thought the empty seat next to me meant that I had been stood up (lol). I enjoyed the game for a good 6 innings and then called it a night.

On the drive home, I had a lovely phone call with Mr. Parker. He's been back home in Michigan for the Holiday week for a few days now and I'm starting to miss my adventure partner a whole lot! My new epiphanies on love had me open to having some small hard conversations for the hopeful sake of showing your person you love them more than their little problems. I think I could talk to Mr. Parker on the phone all day long. What a quality guy. I hung up with a warm heart jumping at the idea of seeing him soon.

It's nice to know that when you really take a look, some giant things prove to be quite simple.

Happy: 4th.

Things that make me happy:
- flowers
- I love you phone calls
- little kids

Things that make me happy about the 4th of July:
-it's the epitome of Summertime, short shorts and ice cold drinks all around.
-fireworks; colorful light explosions in the sky? yes please.
-barbeques and BBQ food, burgers over hot dogs forever.
-popsicles; *hums we'll melt your popsicles* from that Katy Perry song.
-the general feeling of family and community, yay we all love America and freedom!
-the sense of American pride, thank you to the stubborn Americans of our past for declaring independence!!
-it's an excuse to wear red, white, and blue for a week straight!

Things that made me happy about today's 4th of July:
-no work! Today was the first time I've had a full time job that gives holidays off so I'm celebrating alongside all you adults out there!
-got some well needed laundry done, yay for clean panties!
-interviewed for a cool job for when I return to LA in the Fall (please hire me, keeping my fingers crossed)
-saw the fireworks in a cool new location (along the water on the Belmont Channel, great spot for a sunset stroll).
-watched Zootopia. Best Movie Ever! Great plot, great character growth, fun sound track. You'll laugh, you'll cry. If you want to live a better life, watch it.
-ended the day with a nice I love you phone call.

Happy 4th (and 5th, and 6th, and forever), everyone. :-)

It's A Good Day to Fall In Love (SF)

After an early Sunday morning trip to the Farmer's Market down the street, I headed back home to unload my full new bag of goodies, and set out for a good day! I always leave Farmer's Markets feeling like such a thrifty shopper. Today I purchased strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, peaches, carrots, a bouquet of sunflowers, and some lavender all for 25 dollars (!!) Happy tummy, happy wallet.

As my ventures led me into the city, I checked the weather to find that it was going to be a gray and chilly day. No problem; I bundled up into my favorite beige sweater and draped on a long knitted cardigan. To counter the gloomy skies, I decided to embolden my outfit with a bright red lip. A little touch of blush on my cheeks and nose, and off I went!

My first destination was the de Young museum. The de Young museum is a fine arts museum located in Golden Gate Park and has a collection of Contemporary art, textiles, and murals. Art from Indonesia, New Guinea, Africa, Impressionistic pieces, and even guest exhibitions every once in a while! I barely just missed an Oscar de la Renta exhibit (sad). When I finally arrived to the park and found a parking spot, (I don't recommend the parking garage, expensive and tight) I moseyed through the courtyard in between de Young and the California Academy of Sciences. In between there are these beautiful fountains and trees, and to my right I heard the beginning of a band concert starting in the Amphitheater. Like being caught in a blissful current, I couldn't help but meander over for a quick listen.

I sat down in the green benches and listened to a few covers they were doing of some classic Disney songs. Humming along, I looked around to see that I was surrounded by many senior citizens. I grinned and was happy to be in their company. After their first bit ended, we all applauded and I slipped out back towards the museum.

With its high ceilings and soft lighting, the de Young museum is a very tranquil museum; perfect for the crowd it attracts. I have never heard so many intellectual people truly discussing each piece in front of them with such well-thought remarks. I enjoyed sneakily maneuvering up to a painting I liked and eaves dropping in on a couple next to me debating the contrast or meaning of it. On top of the museum's very impressive and diverse collection of art, there is also an Observation tower that offers a spectacular view of San Francisco, even on a foggy day, of course.

Some of my favorite pieces from today were:

Christopher Brown - Station (1993)
I like how it looked like the people were moving, but their shadows stayed behind.

David Park - Two Bathers (1958)
Awesome texture, cooler in person.

Pablo Picasso - Still Life with Skull, Leeks, and Pitcher (1945)
Well, because it's Picasso. 

Andy Warhol - Jackie (1945)
Classic.

Martin Johnson Heade - Singing Beach, Manchester, Massachusetts (1863)
This is a painting. Someone sat and painted this perfection. 

Untitled from the Brooklyn Gang (1959)
They were called The Jokers. Reminded me of my guy friends.

De Young offers a student discount (6 dollar admission in total). If you're ever in the city and craving some good art and a priceless view, I highly recommend!

A few hours into my afternoon, my hunger began to set in and I was eager to go check out a coffee and artisanal toast place by the beach. So I went looking for Trouble (Trouble Coffee co).. and to my delight, this small joint was just as delicious as all the yelp reviews praised it to be! I ordered a latte and cinnamon sugar toast. I seated myself on their trendy tree bench piece outside and sipped on my drink while embracing the chilly ocean breeze coming from down the road. The toast melted in my mouth and my sweet tooth was sat.is.fiedddd. 

Because of the gloomy skies, I contemplated if going to Baker Beach (my next stop) would be a good idea. Considering that I heard it was one of the best views of the Golden Gate Bridge, I optimistically resolved to continue with my plan. Down the curvy road towards parking, I was a bit unsure that I had made the right decision since I was pretty close and still hadn't seen the Bridge.... until I turned around a corner and there it was (so close!!) in all its glory. I keenly parked the car and freed my feet from my boots. My toes felt at home in the sand.

I walked down towards the Bridge along the water and felt like I was in a postcard. It was such a beautiful view. Along my walk, I found a big hole someone had dug and left behind, and I placed my blanket down and lounged in it safe from the wind around me. Time slowed down and I sat with my feet propped up, a lipstick stained cigarette in my hand, and doodled my incomparable view. I live a good life.

San Francisco, today I fell in love with you all over again.

Trouble Coffee Company
4033 Judah Street
San Francisco CA 94122