True

At the end of the school year, before summer began, a couple of my girlfriends and I had a lunch put together for all of us. With an assortment of chocolate covered strawberries, ham & swiss sandwiches, and Orange Juice, we looked back on our first year of college and reminisced on our friendships. One of my favorite moments of this lunch was a time we took to reflect on our favorite things about each other.

As I tried very hard to come up with unique and thoughtful remarks on each of my friends, two of them noted that I was good at deciding what was best for myself and doing it; that I was good at following my heart.

Coming out of a couple months long period where I struggled with deciding what I wanted and often times allowed what I felt others wanted to arbitrate my decisions, I accepted the compliment, but thought to myself that I didn't know if I believed or saw in myself what they saw.

This past weekend, that same friend noted to me a few times over that she loves how I am someone who is following their heart always. As we were getting pierced yesterday, my friends were brainstorming how they would describe each of us in one word. Amongst the mellow, the unique, and the welcoming, the word they chose for me was: true. True as in true to myself, and true to those around me. I took this as a huge compliment. Only this time, it sank in. I believe them and believe that this is true about myself.

There was no greater feeling than realizing in these past few months how much more confident in myself I have grown. To be true to myself and those around me is something I aspire to be, and the feeling of quiet joy and pride in myself blossomed.

I have learned to pursue what makes me happiest; what is the most meaningful to me. And I am so proud of that. I do however realize that I do not have it down perfectly. I have thought a lot about what it means to be true to yourself and a few questions have been raised...

To what lengths can we be true to ourselves and true to others? What is the healthy balance between honoring yourself and putting others ahead of what you want? How can I know when I'm compromising myself vs. just serving others?

How do we remain true to ourselves? What are steps to continue staying true to your heart?

Is this all just a cheesy way of saying "I do what I want"? haha...

As I've thought of ways that I can continue and further my characteristic of being true to myself, I have concluded that I would like to:
-embrace this blog more
-wear a bra less
-get a tattoo one day
-be more honest

To those who have seen things in me before I see them in myself, I truly thank you.